


I'll Always Have Peri

by ThisNothingInTheMiddle



Category: Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, fluff as well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 15:06:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11315910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisNothingInTheMiddle/pseuds/ThisNothingInTheMiddle
Summary: Peri and Erimem have travelled together to some of the most bizarre corners of the universe… and have come face to face with the most terrible things. Things that no one can cope with alone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOME QUICK WARNINGS;  
> -There’s a brief mention of violence in a nightmare at the start.  
> -I wrote this soon after listening to The Axis of Insanity, so I have no idea how it could relate to/contradict any stories that come after that.  
> -The context for anyone who needs it; the Doctor, Peri, and Erimem have gone through some rough adventures recently, and in the most recent (The Axis of Insanity) they opposed a sadistic and genocidal shape-changer named Jarra To. After being separated, Peri finds Erimem standing over a dead body, and assumes that she’s Jarra To… and is surprisingly ready to beat her to death, until Erimem convinces her to stop. Yikes. Afterward, Peri is horrified by what she almost did.  
> -This is extremely sappy and self-indulgent and I only decided to publish it after I wrote so much of it.  
> -That said, I do hope you enjoy!

Peri was dreaming of Erimem.

This was not an unusual occurrence. In fact, as they became more and more acquainted, Peri had noticed her dreams featured the would-be Pharaoh rather more than… well, than was decent. Peri didn’t consider herself uptight by any means, but she’d sworn to herself that she’d take these dreams to her grave.

But this dream was not one of _those_ dreams. It would be more accurate to say that Peri was having a nightmare of Erimem.

She was beating Erimem to death with an iron bar. Erimem was pleading, and somehow her face remained perfectly intact as Peri brought the bar down. Again and again… She knew she must stop, she _wanted_ to stop, but she couldn’t. She was crying and Erimem was crying but she would not stop murdering her best friend. There was no blood, instead just a new wave of horror with each strike, and Peri knew that she’d never live with herself after this, she’d never even consider…

And then she woke up screaming. “ _ERIMEM!_ ” She sat up so fast it hurt.

There were tears piercing her eyes and staining her cheeks, but she couldn’t stop them. Erimem was dead and she’d killed her, she’d looked her in the eye… No. No, it was a dream, it was a nightmare, it wasn’t _real_. It couldn’t be.

Peri found that she was hyperventilating, unable to find enough air in between sobs. She hiccupped and gasped. Erimem was _fine_ , wasn’t she? She _had_ to be, but it was so hard to remember- Yes!, yes she’d seen her last night. Saying goodnights as they went to their rooms.

Still, there was a burning desire to see Erimem, an unshakable need to know for certain that she was okay. Peri could swear that the Tardis could read her mind, because not a second later the door to her room opened and Erimem ran in, wearing a nightgown and a very worried expression.

“Peri!” she cried, and ran to sit on the bed beside her, grabbing the hands that reached for her and holding tight. “Are you alright?!”

“Yes! Yes I’m okay! Are you??”

Erimem blinked. “Yes, of course I am. Peri, what’s wrong?”

“I-” Peri hiccupped again, and stopped trying to talk for a few seconds to calm her breathing properly. Erimem was here, everything was okay. Her best friend waited patiently for Peri to continue. “I had a nightmare. Oh, I’m sorry! This is silly, it was just a bad dream.”

“Oh, Peri!” Erimem hugged her. “Everyone has nightmares. And it must have been a _very_ bad. But you’re safe now.”

Peri held the hug, wiping away most of her tears while her friend couldn’t see her face. They squeezed each other, and Peri never wanted it to end.

“What was it about?” asked Erimem. Before Peri could answer, she added “In Egypt, we believed dreams opened your eyes to what’s important. Maybe it’s important that you share your dream, maybe not. What I mean is: tell me, if you think you should.”

Peri hesitated. She almost brushed off all the concern. But this was something she needed to say, for better or for worse. She’d been internalising this sort of thing for weeks, and that obviously wasn’t helping.

“It was a dream about you,” said Peri.

“Oh,” said Erimem, practically glowing with embarrassment.

Peri lit up too, realising what she’d said. “Not- not a- I mean I- It wasn’t anything lewd or- it wasn’t anything like that!”

“Right,” said Erimem, not getting any less red and avoiding her gaze.

“It wasn’t! It was a dream about you _dying_!”

_Somehow_ it was easier to speak the truth than admit that she had previously had _very_ lewd dreams starring Erimem. That was something that Peri had no issue with internalising the hell out of.

Erimem sobered up, and smiled sadly. “Oh, _Peri_. Here I am, and I’m perfectly fine-”

“I know, I know,” said Peri, interrupting her, “but it was more than that. In the dream I… killed you.”

“Oh,” said Erimem again.

“I killed you because… it was because of…”

“On Pangorum,” said Erimem, and it broke Peri’s heart, because now she knew for certain. She knew that Erimem remembered Pangorum too. And _of course_ she remembered, Peri felt so selfish to ever imagine that Erimem would forget. Peri had been ready, in real life, to beat her to death with a iron bar.

Peri felt her eyes prick but she would not cry again. Her voice broke but she spoke. “I never said, afterward, I never said that I was sorry.”

“Peri, it’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“You thought I was Jarra To. I was standing over a dead body! It only made sense-”

“I should have thought about it, Erimem…” Peri almost didn’t continue, but she had to. She knew she had to say _everything_ , or this would be for nothing, “I _did_ think about it. I was looking for you, and I found you! But I just…”

Erimem sat silently, giving Peri time. She didn’t let go of Peri’s hands.

“I just _wanted_ you to be her. I wanted so badly to… to have the upper hand,” and Peri was hating herself all over again, but she _had_ to keep going. Keep pushing. “Because… I know there’s no excuse, but… recently… life sucks.”

Erimem nodded slightly, because she knew that as well.

“Travelling with the Doctor has always been being kidnapped and shot at and- and _mind controlled._ But- But since Talderun, and then the Civil War… and then the Axis. Everything trying to kill us, or worse… I… I don’t know.” But she did know.

She was shaking slightly now, but Erimem’s hands didn’t move. Neither did her gaze, which was, even now, supporting. Erimem gave Peri all the strength she needed.

“I’ve been angry. Angry at… at… at _the universe_! Everywhere we go _hates_ us, and I don’t know how to deal with it! I’m so sorry, I took that anger out on the Doctor, on our travelling, on you- not that I ever wanted to hurt you! Never!, Erimem, I- I didn’t mean-”

“I know, Peri, I know,” said Erimem, and Peri’s tears started bubbling again.

“I’d never want to hurt you, Erimem. I’d do anything to save you. But I almost threw that all away because I was so, so angry.”

The tears really were coming now, and Peri couldn’t fight them anymore. Through her blurry vision, she thought she saw Erimem’s eyes watering as well.

“I wanted to kill you. I’m sorry. I’m so… I just… I don’t know how to live with it.”

Erimem threw herself forward, and for half a second Peri braced herself, instinctively tensing for a physical assault. But Erimem held her, hugging her tighter than she ever had before. Then Erimem said “I forgive you, Peri. Of course I forgive you.”

Peri sobbed. She couldn’t help it. She and Erimem sat in each other’s arms, and this time she didn’t bother hiding her tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a tiny reference to the novella Blood and Hope in there… despite not actually having read it yet. I think I read somewhere that it’s not very fun for the companions, so after listening to Axis of Insanity I couldn’t help but think that Peri and Erimem had really gone through a harsh couple of adventures recently.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally kept writing after the last scene. This is set the day after chapter 1. Should I give the chapters names? Nah.

“Somewhere ‘calm and quiet’?” said the Doctor.

“Yes,” Erimem said, “and not dangerous.”

The Doctor frowned his frown. It was a cross between thinking and annoyed. Erimem kept expecting him to say “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed.” He moved slowly round the Tardis console, pressing buttons which made funny noises but, from what Erimem could see of the steady movement of the central column, didn’t do much else.

“I’ll try my best, but I really can’t promise anything. You know it’s a random process. And the Tardis is attracted to trouble, most of the time! She has a nose for it.”

“Can’t you steer it to somewhere peaceful?”

“Yeeeeeeessss,” the Doctor said, drawing out the word, “but I, er, don’t always get it spot on first try. That is to say, piloting the Tardis is every bit an art as it is a science. Sometimes, rarely, it might take a few attempts to get somewhere specific.”

Erimem knew that this was an understatement. “Yes I know, but can’t we keep trying until we get it right?” The Doctor looked quizzical, so she continued. “Well when we land, you just look out of the… of the…” she pointed at the wall, “viewing window-”

“Scanner.”

“Yes, you could look out of the scanner and see if we are where we want to be. And if not, you could just take off straight away and try again.”

The Doctor hummed disapprovingly, and started another lap of the console. Erimem got the feeling he only fiddled with the controls to keep himself busy. “Erimem, the probability of the Tardis rematerializing in the same location and in the same time zone for a second time is _infinitesimal_.” It was Erimem’s turn to look quizzical. “By which I mean that if we take off from somewhere that we haven’t explored… well, chances are we’ll never have another opportunity! It’ll be like closing a door on a corner of the universe forever.”

“Doctor, you’ll _never_ see the _whole_ of the universe anyway!”

He looked a little put out. “It doesn’t hurt to try. Never say never, Erimem.”

“But it _does_ hurt,” Erimem insisted, and the Doctor looked up with such a penetrating gaze that she instantly knew that she’d given away more than she had intended to.

“How does it hurt?” he asked, quietly and genuinely. “Erimem?”

“We’ve been to a lot of dangerous places recently…”

“I’m sorry Erimem. But I never said that exploring the universe wouldn’t be dangerous. On the contrary, I rather hoped I had made it clear-”

“I know that, Doctor, but- but Peri needs a break. And so do I. Please?”

The Doctor nodded. “I… I’m sorry Erimem, I didn’t think. Yes.” He paused for a second, then started speaking at normal volume again, switching back to his default mode. “Yes, of course we can go somewhere peaceful. You’re right, we’ve absolutely earned it.” He started moving yet again, in the opposite direction as he had been a moment ago, still hitting buttons. “Have I mentioned the Eye of Orion to you?”

“Ummm, I don’t think-”

“No, wait, I can do you one better. Far west of Egypt, past the end of the Aegean Sea, is a relatively small island called Great Britain.”

“Oh! Peri has mentioned a ‘Britain’ before, is this related?”

“Yes, Britain is the country on Great Britain, but it’s mostly called the United Kingdom.”

“So Britain is on Great Britain-”

“And Ireland.”

“Ireland is another country on Great Britain?”

“No, Ireland is another island on which Britain is… on. Uh… Look. Two islands make up the British Isles; Ireland and Great Britain.” At the Doctor’s prompting, Erimem nodded slowly. “The countries on Ireland are Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland, and countries on Great Britain are Scotland, England, and Wales.” Erimem nodded slowly. “But all of those countries with the exception of the Republic of Ireland make up a bigger country, a state, like the others but with more… sovereignty: the United Kingdom.” Erimem nodded slowly. “You see?”

“Not at all.”

“Yes, well,” the Doctor nodded as if to say he didn’t blame her, “ _the point_ , the important thing, is that some three thousand, four hundred years after your time, some of the most important events in Earth’s history occur in England.”

“And what were they?”

The Doctor beamed. “Lazy Sunday afternoon cricket matches.” He reached over the console to hit a final button. “Setting course for the village of Stockbridge.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do some actual research for that Britain bit… and I still wouldn’t swear it’s all right. The UK is a country made up smaller countries? That’s crazy and makes no sense. Also, I flatter myself that I captured Five’s voice pretty well, I’m pretty happy with that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after writing the last two chapters, I listened to the next Peri and Erimem story, The Roof of the World, and it started with the team on their way to a cricket game! So this is canon that you’re reading here. Except the cricket game was in Tibet and not Stockbridge. And, of course, it isn’t calm or peaceful for them in the least. But it did give me an idea for another chapter.

Erimem was still lying in bed when Peri came to see her.

They’d barely seen each other since leaving Tibet. Peri had entertained Matthews and General Bruce until they were dropped home, and then the Doctor had stopped and started lecturing her several times on her use of liquid nitrogen, torn between the safety issues and the fact that she had just used it to save his life. And the universe, now that she thought about it.

But she hadn’t saved Erimem from being possessed by… well, by something terrible. She couldn’t get a very coherent answer from the Doctor (as per usual), but she understood that Erimem hadn’t been treated kindly.

Peri looked into Erimem’s room now, and Erimem rolled over to look at her.

“Sorry, I can come back later.”

“No, come in Peri.”

Erimem propped herself up and Peri sat down on the bed next to her.

“Are you… okay?”

Erimem didn’t answer for a minute, considering. Peri was silently pleased that Erimem felt like she could answer honestly.

“I think so. Mostly, if not entirely,” she said eventually.

Peri nodded. They were holding hands again, and Peri couldn’t exactly remember when that had happened.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Her answer was quick this time. “I’m… not sure I’ll ever want to talk about it.”

“That’s okay, you may not have to. And I’ll always be here if you ever change your mind.”

Erimem smiled shyly at her with a warmth that Peri could physically feel.

“When the… Thing was inside my head, I told it… I told it that I’ll always have Peri.” They both blushed a little. “It tried to change my mind, but I was right.” Then she leaned forward and hugged Peri. “Thank you for helping to save me.”

“Any time,” Peri said, and meant it.

They pulled away from each other, but their eyes locked and were not so easily separated. Peri felt like she desperately needed to say something, but couldn’t think what. Erimem looked like she was thinking the same.

It was _almost_ awkward. Except... it felt good, staring into Erimem's eyes.

Finally Peri looked away as she yawned and stretched. “Gosh, I’m tired. I’m going to sleep in my nice, _warm_ bed. Nothing will make you appreciate a toasty bedroom more than an impromptu trip halfway up the Himalayas.” She stood up.

“Peri,” Erimem reached up to take her hand again. “Will you… Could you… stay with me?” She blushed. “My bed’s warm as well- Uh, I mean, I thought we could sleep together. _By which I mean_ _sleep_ , because I was going to sleep too. Very tired. Shut up!”

Peri was failing to supress a giggle. She had almost never seen the composed and regal Erimem bluster and stutter before.

“Oh Erimem, so forward!” she joked. “Of course I’ll stay. You’ll always have me, remember. Budge over.”

 

* * *

 

It was the middle of what passed for night in a time machine.

Peri peeked hazily out of one eye.

Erimem’s face was inches away from Peri’s. She looked totally at peace. Calm and dreamless. And beautiful.

Peri struggled against the very strong urge to kiss her, and closed her eye again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if there'll be anymore chapters or not. I might write more when I get more ideas, or when I finally buy the next Erimem audio after this.


End file.
